School days

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

School starts in less than a week. Last week, I was excited, dreaming of the time alone I would have each week. Since Sunday, I am anxious. I keep repeating, " Train up a child in the way she should go and when she is older she will not depart from it." Emotionally, I am clinging to this verse, willing myself to stand on it in faith.

H will be in first grade this year. Not a huge jump since Kindergarten was all day last year. K will attend a public preschool nearby. Once again my control is slipping away. I won't know how much of their lunch they ate, won't approve each video or read-aloud book, can't counter the nasty remark of some child, can't correct the snotty behavior of my own. The world isn't a nice place and it is painful for me to send them into it. I could home school, the answer of choice for many. With all its flaws, we feel committed to public education for now. There are definitely good things to be learned and experienced in the public system. I can't predict where our future philosophies will end up.

To add to my anxiety, H has been chosen as a friend by the third grade girl on the other side of the block. H loves her new friend and all her fancy pretend games. The third grader is polite, thoughtful, not too bossy, and receives any of my rules with a great attitude. But whoa is me, she has married H to her second grade brother and always gives each girl in her games a boyfriend. I would like to keep pretending the world of the opposite sex is all about who is nice to whom and nothing more. Suddenly, the sleepless nights, the poopy diapers, the worries about if the baby is eating enough or gaining enough weight, all seem easy and straightforward compared to helping my little girls navigate the world. Oh I will miss summer and the long snuggles on the couch as we watch Curious George in the morning. I will miss the out-of-control silliness and the joy of watching the girls settle into peaceful play for the afternoon. I will miss all the impromptu field trips and game of Go Fish. I should go wake up the girls,we need to practice our school schedule!