Princess Analysis

Since taking their first steps, my girls have amused family, friends, and neighbors with excessive displays of all that is fancy: shiny shoes, sequins, twirly dresses, jewelry, and layers of tulle. I suspect my retired neighbors had many head shakes when we first moved in as they looked out their windows and saw my girls dancing, skipping, and twirling outside in tutus, princess dresses, and cat costumes. ( Can you picture it Sarah?)

H started having strong opinions about her clothing at 2 ½ when my mom bought her a long blue dress with cherries on it. She suddenly would not let me pick out her clothing and preferred to only wear the cherry dress. For a while I made her wear pants every other day so we would not waste all the nice clothes family had purchased for her. For whatever reason, God made H to love beautiful, fancy clothing. Her tendencies certainly don’t come from the way I dress. K, being the little sister, has followed in H’s footsteps. The girls feel beautiful if their clothing is beautiful.

Such an early attraction to clothing and fancy things alarmed me. And Disney wasn’t helping. They put fancily-clad princesses on everything from toothbrushes and fruit snacks to lunch boxes and clothing. Neither is the general population who often greeted my young girls with phrases like, "You must be a princess." And so began my first real clash with culture. My girls pined to watch princess movies. They begged to wear their princess dress-up clothes. None of this seems so bad, but the subtle messages of the princess movies and the way my girls equated looking beautiful to goodness and virtue alarmed me. I didn’t think it wise to ban princesses entirely. So I tried education and redirection.

I allowed my girls to watch some of the Disney princess movies, if they were not too scary. I read to them short book versions of the famous tales so they would be familiar with the stories. I shared my opinions too.

“Mommy doesn’t like Sleeping Beauty.” I would tell them.

Of course they want to know why I wouldn’t love this beautiful princess dressed in pink. Sleeping Beauty and Snow White are not admirable princesses in my opinion. They sing well, fall under evil spells and get rescued by princes to live happily ever after. Cinderella is better as she is kind to the people who treat her like dirt. But I bristle at the end where marrying the prince equals happy ever after. Belle is my favorite Disney princess. Belle has admirable qualities: intelligence(she loves books), sacrificial love for her father (she voluntarily trades places with him in the Beast's prison). She is not fooled by the antics of the handsome man and is able to see goodness in the literal face of the ugly. Ariel is the worst as she spends the entire movie disobeying her father. The movie makes her rebellious decisions seem like the right thing by implying Eric will bring forever happiness. I hope my opinions have helped counter the messages of the movie. My girls know that being pretty princesses does not equal automatic admiration.

I’ve also tried to redirect the girls’ interests somewhat. I have allowed dress up clothing so I don’t totally squash who they are. But I tend to encourage animal play, art work and imagination through the toys I purchase or request for holidays. T does his part by complementing their natural beauty when they are in jeans or PJs (and not withholding complements on special occasions) and by telling made-up stories about a princess who does things like give away her fancy clothes to peasants who are shivering and wears her PJs everywhere instead.

Some people think I over analyze this issue. My girls are so young. Relax they say. I can’t. I may never know if my efforts to educate really made any difference. H has a natural bend toward the romantic idealism of the princess world that I feel a need to combat. I want her to draw her strength and joy from Christ and not expect it from beauty or the companionship of a man. In writing my thoughts, maybe there a mom reading this who hasn’t thought about the “beauty and prince = happily ever after” messages of the princess movie. Maybe they should. And maybe you have a boy or a girl who doesn't care about fancy clothes or princesses, you can breath a sigh of relief on this one.

Oh and if you want another earful, you can ask me my opinions about the Barbie princess movies.I have lots of them=).

Cleaning

Generally I clean the bathroom on Mondays. Vacuum the downstairs on Fridays. Etc. Sometimes though I need to be flexible, and I have learned to do this. Sometimes I clean the bathroom on Wednesday. And if I skip too many days and I know company is coming on Friday, I wait until Friday morning. No sense in overdoing things.

Yet, regardless of when I do the cleaning, so often it is right before an unknown mess. For example, one Friday I vacuumed the carpets and cleaned the wood floors on a day when I knew the weather called for sun for the whole weekend. I thought I was being smart and would have pretty floors for longer. I didn't know Cody was having a guys night out in my house that night. Single guys mostly, with dirty shoes and careless habits. You know how the story goes.

Or sometimes the day after I clean the bathroom is the day T decides to give himself a haircut. He is a good husband and tries not to leave a mess. But there are still little pieces of stiff black hair clinging to every corner and crevice.


And inevitably if the girls are going to get the stomach flu and vomit in their bed, it is the day after I just washed their sheets.

You know how this story. It's the never ending quest of a mom to have a clean house. Some of us are more successful than others in this area, but I doubt any of us ever meet our desired level of cleanliness for more than an hour (if anyone is home). If I don't guard my heart, all the cleaning and re cleaning can make me mad. What I've come to realize though is that the day there is no one to unclean my house will be a sad one. Either everyone will have moved out, or much worse, they are doing nothing but watching TV. I've heard a story of a widow who, after the death of a husband, left a shirt on the bed post (the very shirt she spent years picking up and putting away) because it comforted her. So I will keep cleaning; thankful I can bless my family in this way. I'm no fool though I am always working to find ways to make them more involved in the process.

One other thing, if I don't pick up the bits of the day scattered around my house each night, the messes won't stop happening, but it will be more unpleasant to be in my house. And one of my greatest desires is for my family to love being at home. Keep cleaning friends. And remember cleanliness is NOT next to Godliness.

Healthy Habits: Taco seasoning

Do you buy those little packets of taco seasoning when you want to have tacos? We used to, then allergies hit and I needed a new way of making taco meat. Making your own seasoning is so easy. And all the ingredients are probably on hand. There are no preservatives, anti-caking compounds or other ingredients you haven't heard of. Here's the recipe I use. It's from somewhere out there in cyberspace, a result of a google search. I'll pretend that I am not breaking a major law in the world of writers here and share the recipe anyway because maybe the idea of a healthy seasoning is appealing to you. This recipe will season one pound of ground meat. We use turkey a lot, but beef tastes better to me. And I use leaf oregano.

1 tbsp chili powder

2 tsp onion powder

1 tsp each cumin, garlic powder, paprika, powered oregano, sugar

1/2 tsp salt


Add spices to 1/4 cup of water, add to cooked meat. If meat is too dry, add more water.

Wa-la. If you have chopped up all the other ingredients, gotten out the salsa and sour cream, and set the table, then you are ready for tacos!

To be far and accurate, I did a little research. ( Complete aside: did you know that General Mills owns Old El Paso and more surprisingly the organic brands Cascadian Farms and Muir Glen?)The Old El Paso original taco seasoning mix does have msg, anti-caking agents, and partially hydrogenated oils in it, plus 24% of daily sodium. The serving size was the amount of mix to make two tacos. McCormick brand was better---no msg, no anti-caking agents, and no oils, and 18% of sodium, but McCormick's had milk proteins in it, so it still wouldn't work in this family. I would definitely pay the extra for McCormick if I didn't have to make my own seasoning. Let me know if try out the seasoning mix.

Too Early

Why is it that on school days, my girls struggle to get up when the alarm goes off at 6:55am but on weekends they come into my room at 6:10am? Not fair. I told them to go back to bed. But the deep sleep was gone.

More Soccer Lessons

Lately soccer is the filter through which I experience parenting lessons and woes. Two games ago, K was playing defense and got nailed in the face. OOOH my baby! It traumatized her though nothing swelled or turned black and blue. Now she twists her face and cries whenever she is told to play defense, or on offense she runs up and down on the field in proximity to the ball but is visibily hoping it will never get close enough to actually have to kick it. She says she still wants to play, which is good because we coudln't let her quit out of fear. The nurturer in me wants to hold her, tell she doesn't have to play that scary game. But T is right, she is such a fearful little girl, if we let her not do things because of fear she will get to be eleven or twelve and regret never doing anything. We need to keep pushing her. But it's hard to find the balance. I should teach her/pray with her Psalm 34:4, " I sought the Lord and he answered me; he delieverd me from all my fears." This is why I write. The reflecting forces me to slow down, think, and sometimes find ideas. I guess you get to be part of the process.

H, who is probably the worst player on her team, is also the the youngest. Several of her teammates will turn eight in the next two months. H is 6 (and 1/2...don't forget the half). Because of her skill and her age(she gets excited about things they think are silly, or she wears skorts to pratice, because any excuse to look girly is a good one according to her) , several of the girls are making fun of her. The blessing is that she has no idea what is going on. But I have to restrain myself. I want to put those mean girls in their place. But I sit on the sidelines or at home and pray. So far H still thinks soccer is fabulous and her teammates are fabulous. For the record, there are a few older girls who are kind. Growing up I always thought my parents could not or would not understand my emotional aches and pains. I didn't know how my mother was restraining and aching as I learned all those life lessons.

Last night was the first night home since soccer has ended. No one rushing to practice, no bags of treats, hats, mittens, water bottles to pack or unpack. Instead, tickle fights, relaxed homework time and longer than usual storytime. I made two lasagnas (with squash!)--one for the freezer. Cooking was even enjoyable because it was slow. Breath in. Breath out. Breath in. Breath out. I wonder what is next?

Art Sale

Sunday the girls spent most of the day creating. I keep all creative things on low shelves to encourage such activities. We have paint, glue, scissors, stickers, beads, foam stickers, pipe cleaners, popsicle sticks, felt, etc. The recycling bin is also nearby and unintended source of inspiration. The easy access sometimes means a bit of a mess ( or a really large one), but they are learning to clean and I love to watch the creative process development and expand. Part of the creative process yesterday including K painting the window with dirty paint water. I squashed my instincts to keep the window clean and let her do it. Then, to her delight, I let her spray the window cleaner and clean it all up.

H's creativity birthed plan #10 of things to sell to make money to buy a pet lizard ( I don't remember all of her plans but one was to make musical instruments with beans and sell them). She has previously saved enough to buy a lizard but gets enticed by some toy and spends it. So yesterday the girls created about ten pictures using paint, markers, and stamps and tried to sell them! I knew this was going on and told them I didn't like the idea but couldn't put into words exactly why, especially when H said, "But mom, artists sell their paintings!" I let them try it and felt a mix of horror and delight when my neighbor actually bought a picture for $1.00. T, also a little embarrassed, put an end to the sale by offering to practice soccer. (It seems soccer is the beginning or end of all activities lately.) He suggested that the girls give their drawings aways as gifts. Why didn't I take a picture of that sale?

Healthy Habits: Pasta substitute

Because healthy eating is so important and because God has arranged my life so that I am constantly learning healthy facts and hoping to develop healthy habits, I decided to share ideas for simple ways to be healthy. My ideas are not originals, just a processing of lots of info into a form you can use. I am going to try and post this Healthy Habits entry once a week or so. Of course, I try to post Tidbits once a week and that hasn't happened. I'll work on it.

I hate squash. Raw zucchini is tolerable. And pureed winter squash makes a good healthy substitute for ricotta cheese in a lasagna, but I generally avoid squash. Spaghetti squash though. Yum. The texture is different from the other squashes. And it fascinates me to watch this pumpkin-like thing turn into noodle strands without effort. Almost as cool as a pomegranate.

Why eat squash? If you don't dose it in butter and brown sugar it is low calories and high in fiber. That means you will feel full longer and it might help your bowel movements if that's an issue.

Here's a favorite thing to do for an easy dinner. Buy a spaghetti squash, cut it in half lengthwise. Remove the pulp and the seeds. Put the halves in a baking pan with about 1/2 cup of water. Bake in oven for 30-40 minutes or microwave for 8-9 until soft. Let cool a little, then scrap out the squash. It will come out in cool spaghetti-like strips. Serve with your favorite spaghetti sauce. Everyone in my family will eat this meal. I can feed all four us with one medium size squash. You can also cook the spaghetti squash whole which can be easier than trying to get a knife through a hard squash, but it takes all day in a slow cooker( with a little water) or an hour in the oven at 400. Make certain to pierce the rind in a few places so you don't get any explosions. And don't burn yourself removing the seeds and pulp. I usually cut my squash in half prior to baking, though sometimes I need T's help.

And for your info, apparently winter squash is the most nutritious member of the squash family. It's high in potassium, beta-carotene and vitamin A. And a squash is really a fruit though most nutritionists label it a starchy vegetable. So how do you cook squash? What I really mean is does anyone eat squash without smothering it in butter and brown sugar? Happy eating.

Tidbits

Lest you think we only play soccer, here are some pictures from the fall. I love fall, the weather; the awesome pictures that come from leaves, apples and pumpkins; the smells. While nature is going dormant, it feels like a new beginning to me since the school calendar has never ceased to be a force in my life. Of course, you could think of nature in the fall, not as dying or going dormant but as preparing to rejuvenate. Sometimes I wish I lived in California, but then, the weather might be boring.

The picture on top is one I have taken many times before. This is just the latest of my girls snuggling while watching a movie. Below the pictures are mostly of K. I am not sure why. Maybe, since she is home more, we do more things cool together. I need to try to get more of H. And T (who hates the camera). So below you have pictures of jumping in leaves (now, we don't have good leaves for a pile in our yard, so the girls knocked on the neighbor's door and asked permission to rake their leaves and jump--the neighbors were delighted), a nature wreath K made for preschool, pictures from K's field trip to the Baby Acres Farm and pumpkin patch (nothing like baby animals to capture a winning smile), a picture from the apple orchard field trip, the girls in the Japanese Maple (climbing this tree is new love).

A story from the pictures, the one with Cody and Laura and the girls was the night the girls decided to serve me by making dinner. Food wise our day had been weird with a large treat about 3 pm so we weren't very hungry. The girls made a soup of carrots, garden lettuce, water, and salt and served us. They even set the bench and brought out the chairs (unsure of how dinner would g0, I insisted we should eat outside and that they should prepare the food outside, just in case). It was a sweet activity and tasted like ...well like water, carrots, lettuce and salt.

For my gluten-free friends

For the few gluten-free friends who read my blog and for dear Amber who likes Aldi, this is for you. And for me, because it made me happy. Aldi ( I heart Aldi) has started selling lunch meat in little plastic tubs. And guess what? It says gluten-free right on the top label. Woo-hoo. Aldi has been a hold-out on informative labeling for people with food issues. Maybe they are starting to come around. Perhaps someday their refried beans will no longer say just beans on the ingredient list, maybe it will someday say"Pinto Beans." (K is allergic to Kidney beans).

For those of you who are out the food issue loop, much of the deli meat sold in this country uses wheat or wheat products as a filler so we need deli meat that specifically says "gluten free."

Email offenses (grrr)

This isn't a post about junk mail, which does deserve a growl or a post about spammers (ggrr). It's about forwards. Now, at the risk of offending my friends and families, I hate email forwards. Hate them. They encourage me almost never and most of them are more or less urban legends. Now legends can be valuable and inspiring, if only people would identify a fictional account as fiction. They don't though; they take partial truths and add and subtract until they have a message that they think the greatest number of people will be inspired or outraged enough to pass it on. And as for the blessings and curses attached to some of these forwards ....well...triple ggrrrrr.

I received a lovely forward the other day--a prayer by Billy Graham that I enjoyed, but I am suspicious of all things on forwarded email. So I did some sleuthing. I love the site http://www.snopes.com/ because it finds these email forwards, does the research and posts the correct information with sources. An English teacher's dream. The forward I received was supposedly a prayer by Billy Graham, delivered to congress and aired on Paul Harvey. Given the current headlines, the prayer seemed liked it was probably recent. First, the prayer was not Billy Graham's. It last spoken by the Rev. Joe Wright to the Kansas House of Representatives back in 1996. It was actually written by a Bob Russell who prayed it at the Kentucky Governor's prayer breakfast the year before. Egads. Thirteen years later Russell's prayer (altered in several places) shows up on my computer screen as a Billy Graham prayer prayed to Congress. Now I that I have vented. I need to step back. A prayer delivered to God to needs no author or correct documentation. Just a genuine faithful heart. It matters not who wrote it or how it landed on my screen. It has value if causes me to seek the Lord. So with that here is the original prayer which is decidedly less politically correct than the forward in my box....it should make you pause and think, if not cause you lift up a prayer. And next time you get a forward...check out the facts at Snopes.

Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness.
We seek your direction and your guidance. We know Your Word says, 'Woe
to those who call evil good.' But that is what we have done.

We have lost our spiritual equilibrium. We have
inverted our values. We have ridiculed the absolute truth of your word
in the name of moral pluralism. We have worshipped other gods and called it
multiculturalism.

We have endorsed perversion and called it alternative lifestyle.

We have exploited the poor and called it a lottery. We've neglected
the needy and called it self preservation. We have rewarded laziness and called
it welfare. In the name of choice, we have killed our unborn. In the name
of right to life, we have killed abortionists.

We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self
esteem. We have abused power and called it political savvy. We have
coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it taxes. We have polluted the air
with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression. We have
ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it
enlightenment.

Search us, Oh God, and know our hearts today. Try us. Show us any
wickedness within us. Cleanse us from any sin and set us free. Guide and bless
these men and women who have been sent here by the people of the State of
Kentucky.

Consulting for Consumers

So I am not a consultant for Consumers Energy. Big surprise I know. But I think I could be. I could save them money. Lots of it. About three weeks ago Consumer men show up and say there is a leak in my gas line and can they please look at my meter. After assuring me that the leak was happening before my meter and that it wasn't costing me anything, they left. One week goes by, nothing, except the neighbors across the street complaining of gas smells. We couldn't smell it on our side. Another week and flags marking the water and phone lines go up in my yard, and two of the houses across the street. But no news. Another week. Nothing. This morning, the neighbor with the most flags left for Europe for three weeks. This afternoon, about one, three large trucks with equipment for cutting concrete show up along with their crews. They knock at the house across the street, the one with the most flags. Our gas meters are old and inside our houses so they need access to our basements to do their work. Of course, no one is home across the street and even though they need to work on my house too, they want all of us to be home at once. Now I should just call Consumers and offer my services because I can see a major flaw in the way they operate--they should just try scheduling their repairs using the ancient telephone. I wonder if they could just credit my energy bill for being so helpful?

Christmas?!

In the previous few years, I have thought, "OK, the stores can't start celebrating Christmas any sooner, Halloween has to end before they have space for Christmas." I also resolved to not complain about it. My resolve broke today. Menards is already advertising their Enchanted Forest display which is already open. They conspicuously leave out the word Christmas...lest anyone think the holiday was ever intended to be about more than presents and pretty decorations. Stores have successfully made Halloween into a money maker (how many moms do you know who sew their kids costumes this year?). Non-grocery stores couldn't find a way to make money off of Thanksgiving, so they give this holiday about four short shelves of turkey and pilgrim salt shakers and a few fake pumpkins and go straight from Halloween to Christmas...So now what isn't in the store so that there is room for Halloween and Christmas?

I love the sunshine. LOVE the sunshine.

I love driving somewhere and noticing that gas is cheaper than it was yesterday.

I love having lunch, just me and my friend, no kids, and talking about our girly girls and life.

I love the new feature on my blogger account that allows me to follow other people's blogs. Now I don't have to constantly check all the blogs, I can just log into blogger and see who has updated what.

Heartaches

Heartaches and tears. Bellyaches and laughter. The range of my motherhood emotions grows with the age of my children. I no longer worry (not often anyway) about the consistency of poop or how many tablespoons of brightly colored fruit mush to feed my babes. The straightforward worries are being replaced by heartaches and tears as my children experience pain and frustration I cannot control. And I gather, from logic and from listening to mother's of older children, the things I can't control will only get bigger. And so we turn to the Lord and wonder how people parent without faith. What hope do they stand on?

Dear, quiet little K anxiously sorts the mail each day. She is waiting for an invitation to a birthday party promised by a little girl on her soccer team just minutes after the first team practice. I suspect the teammate was full of birthday anticipation and willing to invite everyone she met, but probably didn't clear it with her mother. I doubt the invitation will ever arrive. I've tried to explain this to K, but she continues to sort the mail and hope. She cried and cried during bedtime snuggles last night, worried that she wouldn't be able to find the birthday house without an invitation. Be still my heart. And Lord give me any words that might encourage her. Help her know she is loved, birthday party or no. Give her a friend, a kind one.

Yesterday was a tragic soccer game for H. It wasn't that her team lost (they won 2-0). But the only other six-year-old on the team, the only other teammate who had not scored a goal, made a goal. And H knew all the stats except that one where it is highly unusual to have a team of 6 and 7-year-olds where more than half of them ever score. H has had probably six more opportunities to score goals than the other girl, but she can't seem to make it happen. So last night both T and I took our turns comforting and encouraging, correcting erroneous statements like, "I am so stupid at soccer." Oh which hurts more, her pain or a mother's? A mother who knows there will be more, much worse pains to come and who desperately wants to protect her little girl from feeling like she isn't good at anything. Lord give her the tools to see the things that are really important, to find her worth in you. And give me the faith to let her face the world and its disappointments without having a stomach tied in knots.

Their Many Faces

H refused to make any faces but this silly coy smile for our "photo shoot." Where does she learn such a pose? Have I mentioned all her stories lately about the boys chasing her at school because they love her? Yes she is in first grade and yes I think we might be in trouble. K was more cooperative and even started crying as I tried to capture their many expressions. I think she stubbed her toe.