Heartaches and tears. Bellyaches and laughter. The range of my motherhood emotions grows with the age of my children. I no longer worry (not often anyway) about the consistency of poop or how many tablespoons of brightly colored fruit mush to feed my babes. The straightforward worries are being replaced by heartaches and tears as my children experience pain and frustration I cannot control. And I gather, from logic and from listening to mother's of older children, the things I can't control will only get bigger. And so we turn to the Lord and wonder how people parent without faith. What hope do they stand on?
Dear, quiet little K anxiously sorts the mail each day. She is waiting for an invitation to a birthday party promised by a little girl on her soccer team just minutes after the first team practice. I suspect the teammate was full of birthday anticipation and willing to invite everyone she met, but probably didn't clear it with her mother. I doubt the invitation will ever arrive. I've tried to explain this to K, but she continues to sort the mail and hope. She cried and cried during bedtime snuggles last night, worried that she wouldn't be able to find the birthday house without an invitation. Be still my heart. And Lord give me any words that might encourage her. Help her know she is loved, birthday party or no. Give her a friend, a kind one.
Yesterday was a tragic soccer game for H. It wasn't that her team lost (they won 2-0). But the only other six-year-old on the team, the only other teammate who had not scored a goal, made a goal. And H knew all the stats except that one where it is highly unusual to have a team of 6 and 7-year-olds where more than half of them ever score. H has had probably six more opportunities to score goals than the other girl, but she can't seem to make it happen. So last night both T and I took our turns comforting and encouraging, correcting erroneous statements like, "I am so stupid at soccer." Oh which hurts more, her pain or a mother's? A mother who knows there will be more, much worse pains to come and who desperately wants to protect her little girl from feeling like she isn't good at anything. Lord give her the tools to see the things that are really important, to find her worth in you. And give me the faith to let her face the world and its disappointments without having a stomach tied in knots.
1 comment:
Oh, so sad to read about the trials that our little ones have. I don't want them to face these disappointments and yet, they need these small ones so that they can handle the big ones in the future. I definitely know how you and Tom are both feeling on days like that.
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