Diabetes Update

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. If I stop, when a room is quiet, that's what I hear. In my head, this sound has eclipsed diabetes on the worry scale. Every waking moment of the day---EEEEEEEEE. If I don't think about it, it's tolerable. Problem is, I told my doctor, who sent me to the ENT, who tested my hearing. He told me what I already knew. Tinnitus. They don't know what causes the ringing because it comes from a part of the ear so deep in my head that they can't get it to safely. There is no remedy and no apparent cause. And as long as it is steady and in both ears, which it is, there nothing to worry about as long as I can stay sane.

For me, it's caused some significant hearing lose. I notice it whenever there the room is full of people or whenever the girls try talking to me from the back of the car. I say,"What?" all the time. And it didn't bother me so much until I saw the ENT. Now I think about it too much. Thirty-three is young for hearing loss. What if it gets worse? Another test. Another chance to say, "Lord I will trust you through this, no matter what." I might add, "Please don't let me go crazy."

But you, my dear friends, have walked this path with me for over six months, so you deserve a diabetes update. Insulin is good. My blood sugars are around 80 first thing in the morning and haven't seen a number over 165 since I started the shots. I don't mind the shot, though I wonder at what point the mental game right before the needle goes in will end. There's always a pause, a moment where I think, ouch, this is crazy. Truthfully it doesn't even hurt--a paradigm that needs changing is all. Those needles are sooo tiny. A good prick with a sewing needle is far more painful.

My numbers are good. My emotions are steady. My eating is ok. It is a lot of work to count carbs : 45g of carbs for breakfast and lunch, 60 g for dinner, 15-30 g for snacks. What kind of carb is it? Because 15 g of juice carb is much riskier than 15 g of orange carb. I eat at too many potlucks, Bible studies, and picnics. It's a guessing game and I'm doing ok--not great. Diabetes might be the one disease where processed food with nutrition labels is a awesome. I should be more careful, plan ahead a bit more. And test more diligently. Always room for improvement.

But I can't wait for my next round of lab tests in August. Now this weekend, I'm off to Colorado for a wedding. My first trip through airport security with needles. Can't wait.