New Scary Frontiers

In general, I have a laid back parenting style. I don't worry too much and try, with some success, to trust the Lord with my darlings. There is one area though that is looming ever larger as the girls grow that makes me panic. I don't know how to handle it. I am not especially fond of the limitless communication it provides (thought I myself enjoy the benefits of it). And the parents who have gone before me don't know much more about what to do than I do.

Oh technology, technology, technology. Internet and chat worlds, cell phones, ipods, blackberries and texting. I prefer the old questions like, do we let our kids have a phone in her room? Now we have to decided if we get the kids a phone. If the answer is yes do we get one of those limited plans where the phone only dials about three numbers. Or do we allow them into the world of their peers where they text and text and text some more. Facebook page? My Space? Rules for when the ipod can and can't be plugged into the ears need to be considered. And then there are all those endless things on the Internet.

I've learned a few things from watching other parents and from reading. The computer can't be in a secluded corner. It must be in a busy, open room. Take the cell phone away at night to keep teenagers from staying up too late and texting. But that's all I know. And I worry about these things, because I don't know how to navigate them. I don't want to navigate them. I like pretending they don't exist, but that strategy won't work.

A neighbor girl introduced H to Pixie Hollow online. It's Tinker Belle's world. H creates her own fairy and then flies through the world, playing games, decorating her "home," etc. It's cute and fun. H has a Webkinz (a stuffed animal with a code to play with an animated version of your animal online). But she didn't love Webkinz world nearly as much as she loved the cute stuffed animal. But this fairy site was made for little girls like H. It's still a bit old for her, so she needs my help a lot. But here's where I freaked out. The other fairies, made by other little girls (presumably) can make friends with each other and "chat." Whoa. Alarm, sirens and other scary warning signs exploded in my mind when some random fairy named Cherryblossom Pearwings asked to make friends with H's fairy, Oakflower. A new rule was formed. "You can play on this site, but no making friends" (take that rule out of context and it sounds mean). I've seen too many news stories about online predators. And I was shocked at how panicked I felt.

We did go back online the next day, phone in hand. We called the neighbor and she logged onto Pixie Hollow. Oakflower and the neighbor's fairy Lavendar Lovelycup are now friends. If they are online together they fly together and play leapfrog. It's cute and I still feel in control.

Oh dear me. As my girls age, my controls slip just a little. And I have to trust. Trust God to guide me with my parenting, to protect H and K with full understanding that there are consequences to sin. So I want to grab them and guide them and make sure they don't misstep. But someday I will have to let them make mistakes, be big ones and who knows who will be behind some of those friends they make. Parenting may just be my greatest faith journey yet.