Sisters

Being an only child, I think I am missing some of the basic information about how to raise kids. I don't get it. My girls are fighting, bickering, pushing. Everyday. The widow next door, who raised two girls, tells me to leave them alone, getting in the middle will only make me the bad gal. Most people laugh when I tell them how frustrated I am. It's like they all know this secret about how much fighting is to come and think my frustration at such an early age is amusing. But really, I wouldn't let them treat friends or visitors the way they treat each other. All the scripture that I know teaches us to act opposite of their behavior. Is this time of war really something I am supposed to resign myself to? I don't want to. It's wrong.

I've been praying daily that God would give me wisdom to help them. He hasn't shown me the solution, but he has calmed me down so that for two or three days now I have been more patient, calmer in my reactions to their fights. He has also let me see that K is growing, changing and Hadley is fighting it. They've always had an odd relationship where K does more of the creating of the imaginary games than H. About a year and a half ago H told me this was because K has a better imagination. Now, Kis not being so submissive. While she created the games, Hadley always got the choice part: the princess, the kitten, the mermaid. K doesn't want to settle for second fiddle anymore and she's willing to inflict pain to make her point. Sigh, I am drained from all the refereeing. Holiday weeks can be long. All activities get cancelled and without family in town to replace those activities, I fall short on my adult time.

I know there are at least half a dozen moms who regularly read this blog. These questions are for you (and now I know you read this Sarah!) When your children are mean to each other, what do you do? How many infractions before you separate for them a long time? What's your rule about tattling? Do you take a hands off approach or do you intervene? Do you teach conflict solving techniques, which ones have worked well? What you have to say..I need the advice and the encouragement!

I am going to post an unrelated video now mostly for the amusement of my relatives and distant friends. Hopefully it won't cancel the SOS of the previous paragraphs. The girls usually settle into a time of enjoying each other after dinner (yes it takes eight hours lately to get there). This video is during a pretend musical. H has heard of High School Musical but has not seen it. She knows it involves singing. This video was part of their version. I don't think I will pursue their auditions for America's Got Talent!

Activity

The title is an understatement. My girls are active. I wonder if they rival boys (not quite so destructive). My oldest is not calm, not quiet, but she is sweet. K is calm and quiet though exceptionally whiny. Together, watch out. I remember a friend in Bozeman laughing at my girls as we walked to campus and wondering out loud, "Do they ever just walk?" They were skipping, twirling, and generally wiggling their way to campus. Yesterday, I tried taking a video on my camera for the first time. I think it demonstrates the general charcteristics of these two sisters together...fighting but having fun. It drives me crazy sometimes. Maybe all sisters are like this, but I wouldn't know about that. I wonder if my only-childness is why their antics and fighting baffles me sometimes?

And yes, that's a blue and red gymnastics mat in the middle of the living room.