Surprises

I've never been a lover of beards and mustaches. Clean shaven isn't my favorite either. I like the slightly defiant look of a five o'clock shadow, maybe even a bit more than five o'clock. I've asked T many a time to shave his facial hair. Or at least keep them more trim. I think he feels naked without them. His outward appearance when he is clean shaven doesn't fit his personality. So he never shaved on my request. I understood but I kept trying.

For months, T has been complaining about my long hair. He feels physically sick when he finds long hairs on the floor, or worse, in his food. I try to make sure I have my hair in a pony tail or a knot when I am cooking, but hairs are escape artists. That's why they make hair nets for cooks. I didn't want to cut my hair. Having long hair was the easiest way to ignore my hair. I could also pony-tail-it. And I have lovely hair:thick, strong, and flowing. The envy of many women. As such, my long hair suited my stay-at-home lifestlye and the lack of bathroom moments moms of young children experience. It also made me feel pretty.

In the back of my mind though, I kept thinking about how T didn't like my long hair. He is, afterall, the only person whose thoughts on my appearance are truly important. I should have just cut it for him, as an act of service. I took the more self-serving approach instead. I flipantly said more evening, "If you shave your beard and mustache, I'll cut my hair." I did not put any stimpulations on the statement, like you can't grow back your beard for three months (it would take at least a year to grow back my hair should I so chose). Really, I never expected anything to come of the comment. Two days later T came down the steps without any facial hair. Crap I thought, (I mean oh no)before noticing how handsome he looked.

I put off cutting my hair for weeks, wondering if he even remembered. Getting a good haircut is expensive, I don't know any stylist I trust, justifciation after justication postponed the cut. A month later, T brought home a business card from a salon he heard about. Two weeks later he asked if I had made an appointment.

I work hard to make sure my kids know they need to keep their word. Follow through, do what you say, let your yes be yes. The phrases I throw at my children were convicting me. I made an apointment. Together T and I searched the internet for haircuts. A week later, he came home in the middle of the day so I could go alone for the cut.

In the end, I love my new do. I loved the experience. God blessed me with a great stylist who was friendly and talented and even a massage chair for the shampooing, all for the price I paid for a bad trim at the mall salon. For once, I don't worry every time I meet a person who pretends they don't notice my haircut, I didn't cut it for them and I know that to some people, nothing will ever look better than beautiful long hiar.

Really though, the joy lies in the sacrifices we made for each other. Parts of who are (or so we thought) that we didn't want to change. A little like the Gift of the Magi.

And my children? H said my hair looked "gross" when she first saw my short-do. Ten minutes later she wondered if she could get her hair cut like me. K barely noticed.