Answered Prayers

Sunday at 7:30 am won't find any of us in bed. Generally, I treasure Sunday mornings. We don't need to hurry anywhere (a church start time of 10:15 is positively late). No leisure this Sunday. We are off to a gymnastics meet. If you've followed Hadley and her love of this sport, you must wonder how we arrived at this point.

I've struggled since the beginning of last summer with gymnastics. Clearly my oldest is smitten, bitten by the uninvited bug of gymnastic passion. The sport is pricey and dangerous. But what sport, done intensively, doesn't have a long list of risks? If her ambition was modeling, I would worry and fret about that. I can't stomach the fees  or  letting gymanstics destroy two or three family dinners a week, not yet. I can't let a sport take my girl away at such a young age. Yet, anyone who studies any sport or art to the point of recognizable success (be it a commerical, a title, a performance) gives many things up, is there a balance?  I still don't know, but for now, God changed the course I thought we were on, at least temporarily.

I watched Hadley all fall and ached. Her flipping, balancing, upside-down passion didn't wane. There were many nights of tears. Hadley wondered why God wouldn't let her compete. She knew He could change her parents hearts and provide the money. She knew multiple girls whose parents let them compete. Every night, since this summer, Hadley ended prayer time with a request that God would let her compete. I listened and winced --doubting there was any competition in her future. Sometimes in my daydreams I would get a job so she could compete, or money would come from somewhere and I could hand her, her dream. But even if the money came, I wasn't convinced that amount of time (6-12 hours a week) was healthy. And then there were stories I'd stumble upon in magazines, about girls who quit gymnastics only to worry about the lack of time working out and turn to eating disorders as an answer. I never found answers to my questions, but I found contentment, because regardless of the other issues, the money wasn't there. By December, I think both Hads and I had peace. God was in control. Even if she never competed, this passion and skill had a purpose we couldn't see.

In March, I stopped the coach to let him know Hadley loved his class. He's a good teacher and I wanted to encourage him. He's thoughtful too, passing down his daughter's used grips (for bar) so we wouldn't need to buy new ones. Coach responded with, "Maybe Hadley would like to do a fun meet?" Fun meets are what kids do in the early stages of competition. They perform routines, get judged but there isn't a state-wide ranking and coaches can be right next to them, helping them stay calm and remember the moves. Generally only kids enrolled in the team programs we had avoided could participate. Hadley heard him and her whole body started springing up and down while her eyes welled up with happy tears. Hesitant and uncertain, I asked questions. He thought she could learn the routines during her regular training hours. Perhaps she could participate in one meet without much extra cost to us. Almost crying myself, I said thank you and that we would check with Tom.

To my surprise, Tom gave a green light. Was it wise to let her compete in one meet? Would it just make her more upset in the long haul? The momentum was too strong now, Hadley believed God had answered her prayers. There was no turning back.

Weeks went by. Hadley learned no routines, but she was planning on this meet. Questions were flying through my mind. I finally stopped coach, asking him about his plans and timidly expressed my hope that this meet wouldn't be an emotional disaster. He explained the unanticipated difficulty of finding time to instruct Hads one on one with nine other girls in the class. But his plan far exceeded any of my imagined solutions. Hads has now received over five hours of free one-on-one or one two private instruction time. I feel indebted to the two coaches who have helped her. I don't really understand why we are receiving so much generosity. Sometimes I go to dark places wondering about alterior motives, but then I remember a big God who heard a little girl and a big God who heard a mother plead with him to make her daughter's faith real, and I know this is one step on the journey. And in truth, I am in no way obligated to this gym, though I do sing their praises regularly.

So think of us Sunday. Pray for us. I will be sitting in the audience, tensing my back and forgetting to breath when the hardest parts of a routine happen. This faith wave leaves me unable to plan or anticipate, grateful to know a God who can provide glorious riches beyond what we can imagine.

Girly Girls Meet Star Wars

Gathering together on couch for a family movie night a few weeks ago, I felt sorry for Tom. Here we all were, girls decked in pink with layers of silver tulle for a skirt, and he was telling him about the Millenium Falcon Spaceship he had as a boy. The show for the night was the original Star Wars, still an influential film. Tom moved on now to telling the girls about his Star Wars action figures. Poor Guy. These girly girls might not even tolerate the whole movie, but I didn't have the heart to say anything.

I fell asleep. Yup. Even with squirmy on my lap, I dozed. And the girls? They watched the whole movie, asking questions throughout. And the next day, they acted out the movie. And the next day they went to school and discovered a storm-trooper-army worth of kids who already knew about Jedi knights and told the girls Leia wasn't the only girl in the movies.

Then came the begging to see more Star Wars movies. The next weekend we showed them the Phantom Menace (movie #1). Immediately afterward, Kassy wanted to take her own money and buy a light saber (and she's my child who never wants new toys). Now, my sweet, youngest daughter has abandoned the girls in her class and spends recess playing Star Wars with the boys. No joke. She's having a Star Wars birthday party. She loves R2D2. Both girls are saving their money for Leia and Padme Halloween costumes. They bought Star Wars books at the recent book fair.

I should have known their interests were about to expand when they started complaining that they only had one pair of jeans each. (Why would a mother, whose girls only like skirts and dresses, buy more than one pair of jeans?)

Parenthood, and life, is a full of seasons. But our seasons don't begin and end with a date on the calendar and the signs of change aren't as obvious as falling leaves or blooming crocus. And so officially, I welcome the end of the princess fascination and wonder where this new force will lead.

My 8-year-old

Hadley turned 8 last Friday. It isn't her year to have a friend party so she had a play date with two close friends Friday night. They made sundaes and played. No invitations, no decorations, no piles of cheap-soon-to-be-forgotten toys. Her current BFFs, Kaylee and Alexis came. She got a cool drawing book and some craft projects.

As always, the birthday girl gets to choose the menu for the day, within reason. Hadley picked pancakes, with strawberries and whip cream for breakfast, daddy's spaghetti for lunch (love that thermos), and pancakes with syrup (and spinach to make it healthy!) for dinner.

We celebrated Hadley's birthday as a family on Sunday. Since we don't have have family in town, we invited our Saginaw family (aka our Bible study). Again, we made sundaes with Hadley's favorite flavor: neopolitan. Then we watched Hadley open gifts. Her sister gave her a Furr-Real Pet bird (a stuffed bird that chirps and flaps). We gave her roller skates, a pair of shoes and a swimsuit. Beau and Teagan brought a mini-stamper and lip gloss! Grandma and Grandpa Wells bought an adorable dress that she wore to school on her birthday and the other Grandma and Grandpa gave her money to buy a dress for her doll at the American Girl store in Chicago (where she went on a father/daughter trip at the beginning of the month and I yet to write about...).

All those great gifts, and as usual, it was Tom who won the prize for most memorable gift. Tom is more into creating memories and fun than into picking a gift off a list of desires. Somehow, he had teased Hadley enough that she thought he was giving her a tarantula (which intrigued and terrified her). The rest of us played along, since Hadley clearly enjoyed guessing what was in daddy's box.

"Well, Daddy wouldn't give you something that would hurt you, so if it is a spider, it must be tame."

"Maybe it's a bunch of little spiders..."

Hadley was bursting by the time present-opening began. She wanted to open daddy's gift first. I videotaped this gift opening. None of us noticed Tom during the process, but watch him fidgeting in the background. Click here to see the video of what ensued.

Thanks to our friends who help make our girl feel loved--all-year--long.

Hadley wouldn't hold the snake for a long time, but Kassy liked it. She named the snake Ashley! (Kassy is wearing a shirt on top of her leotard. )

With the Furr-Real friend, whose name is Apple ("because she is red, yellow, and green--like apples."

The guy is Jordan. He lives with us. I haven't written about that either....I know I am behind.  

Hadley and her doll, in the official horseback riding outfit of the colonial period, at the American Girl restaurant....more about that trip later. 

Scarves to Treasure

My grandmother knits. Knit isn't really the right word. I knit. After Hadley was born, I needed a new hobby so I took a knitting class. And for about two years, I knit standards like dishcloths. Truthfully? It was drudgery. And the results screamed, "New, impatient knitter."(Though I did teach who my sister-in-law to knit and she is quite talented.)

My Grandma though, she creates art through knitting. Growing up I remember watching her. She tore beautiful fabric into giant balls of "yarn" and then knit with that. Her work was creative. The clothes she knit were different and beautiful, but too daring for a peer-concerned tween to wear. And when she knit with real yarn, it wasn't standard, from-the-sale-rack-at-Joanne's yarn. It was always luxuriously soft fiber knit into a one-of-kind blanket or table cover, the kind you proudly point out to guests.

I remember the transformation of my mom's childhood bedroom at the farmhouse. ( I must confess that I don't know if my memory is very accurate.) It was a gorgeous room with huge windows, lots of natural light, and on sunny days, delightful rainbows from the prisms in the pane glass.  Grandma transformed that room into her studio. She painted the ceiling turquoise (at a time I remember walls as being either white or wall-papered) and then put lattice all over it. And the walls were a warm shade of orange. Light, color, and knitted art. It was a room to escape to. I remember lingering with all the pretty things: newly knit outfits, soft balls of yarn, gleaming, colorful knitting needles and displays of personal treasures. An artist's studio.

For several years now, my otherwise healthy Grandma has been losing her sight. Doctors can't stop the loss. It just is. Like diabetes or Parkinson's. I don't know what it's like to slowly have the world darken and to lose the ability to do things you love like read and make things pretty (or make pretty things). I don't know what's like to not be able to drive or to see your own writing clearly. I imagine it's lonely, especially when added to the constant loss of friends and family experienced by all octogenarians. Even as I grieve for Grandma,  I still don't call or write enough. Even so, despite a distance of almost 800 miles and a lack of face to face time, Grandma remembers us often and recently sent us a new, silken treasure.

Last week, a package of Christmas presents arrived in the mail. Wrapped in tissue paper were two scarves. Christmas presents for the girls in March. Warm scarves in time for spring. Beautiful, silken scarves. Knit by my grandma. Made with determination and sacrifice. She couldn't strain her eyes to do the knitting for more than five or ten minutes a day. And she had to wait for her friend to visit to tie knots and do some finishing work. And all winter it snowed and snowed and snowed some more so the friend couldn't come often. So December came and went, but Grandma kept working and eventually those scarves arrived, unanticipated, in my foyer.

Grandma's note said the girls were to use the scarves in their creative play (she knows they dress up and pretend to be all sorts of things). I struggled with the note. I wanted the girls to love the scarves and play with them. But that meant some level of scarf abuse, which horrified me. I wanted to snatch up those scarves and make the girls understand the effort involved in their creation. Admist all their sparkly, cheap things, I wanted them to see that the scarves are truly beautiful. I did speak to the girls about the effort the scarves required. But I let them play as they wish (No leaving the scarves on the ground though).  I know that some of the creative spirit in my girls comes from Grandma and it is fitting for these girls to use her creativity to foster their own.

A million thanks Grandma. You blessed my heart. The thank you notes are coming. Love you.

Mom and Grandma, 2007













In 2006, in Montana

Reading to Kassy, Montana, 2005

Kassy

Before any more time passes, Kassy deserves her post. It's been over a year. My youngest will be six next month. On her report card, Ms. Adair called Kassy, “Quiet, observant, and capable.” Kassy, you are slow to speak, slow to warm up, but loyal to the core. Once someone wins your trust and affection it would be difficult to lose. You are forgiving, tender, and sweet.

You are slow, leisurely. Even when a situation calls for hurrying, you dawdle. I am quite sure you use  your slowness to gain the upperhand.

You are observant and thoughtful. You ask deep questions about the spiritual world. Today you wanted to know if a demon possessed person was around, who would get the demon out since Jesus is no longer present. (Guess what story the Bible lesson was about this morning?)

Kass, you like to back peddle. You will execute a devious, almost naughty behavior and then when confronted, claim you changed your mind or didn't understand. You never, well almost never, claim to be at fault for anything. People think you are calm and sweet and innocent. They would be shocked to know that you are the loudest of my two children, frequently the one directing the games with Hadley, and generally looking for sneaky ways to get back at Hadley when you don't like how her older sister is acting. You are rarely sorry, just hopeful that you will get away with things. 

You are quiet at school and always do exactly what the teacher asks. Sometimes you take your obedience to ridiculousness. One day you came home and complained that during nap time  a little girl was biting your pants. You didn't raise your hand to tell the teacher because you aren't allowed to talk during rest time! At the beginning of the school year, you would sob if you had to be different (other than the food you eat) or to draw attention to yourself. You would sob if you forgot something like a library book that was due or your homework folder. Asking a question or getting clarification on directions is nearly impossible for you for you. If there are visitors to our house, you will only present your requests by whispering in my ear. You've worked hard to over come some of your shyness and now generally can return greetings and answer questions that unfamiliar adults ask. 

Kassy, you are still a whiner. Not everyday, the frequency has decreased and sometimes you make obvious efforts to squelch your complaints. You are a picky food eater. You worry about what you will eat and only like a few foods: fruits, spinach, grains ( a tough, expensive one since you don't eat gluten), cheese and yogurts (yes you are eating these again), highly processed meats (you hate most meat unless it is breaded, or a concoction meat like salami, sausage or hot dogs). You worry early in the day about what each meal will bring and rejoice if it is too your liking. I wish I knew if this was just your personality or if the food issues have made you this way.

You do worry and  worry and worry. You worry about new things, about not following procedures, about having to ask someone a question. At school, you wouldn't ask kids to play with you on the playground (and later, when you did, you claimed they didn't answer. I suspect you were so quiet and unassertive that they didn't hear you). It took you most the first semester to make friends at school. For a while, your favorite friend was a little girl named Areesha, she is a triplet. For much of Kindergarten you would fret and worry about not having friends and you would cry if you didn't see Hadley often enough or if you didn't pass her in the hallway at the usual time. Finally, you seem to be relaxing a bit. Now, since daddy introduced you to Star Wars, you've been playing all kinds of Star Wars games at school with many different kids(mostly boys). I think you finally feel comfortable at school, though Ms. Adair said you had many friends before but just didn't know it. She says the kids like you and pick you for partnering activities or games. 

 You love soft, comfy clothes like PJs with feet, fleece pants and tops,  fuzzy, soft sweaters. You also like skirts and dresses. You love to play on the computer, watch movies, and to listen to music with your daddy. You are still my little snuggler. You love soccer, gardening and cooking with mom. You take gymnastics, and don't mind it. You can ride a 2-wheeler around a parking lot, but are terrified to do it on the sidewalk. Bugs, especially bees, terrify you. You like sweets, but only in moderation (I think you would almost always prefer cheese). You are generous, always thinking of Hadley or other friends and sharing with them. You aren't particularly impressed by or attached to toys. You do still love your pillowcase. It is torn, down it last threads, but you love and take it anywhere I permit. You smell it. You want to learn to read and can now read simple books like One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish Blue Fish (85% on your own). 

Love you sweet cakes. 

Dr. Seuss, Rock band party, old friends, and wings

Last week I think every elementary school in the country celebrated Dr. Seuss. The more adventurous ones ate green eggs and ham and libraries were pillaged for these classics. Kassy surprised me by actually reading (not memorizing) about 75% of One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. Reading astounds me. One day it's just there. A mystery solved and all that remains is practice. Above she models her Cat in the Hat hat.

Those of you who are local probably received this promotional material for the girls' school in the mail. I've been impressed with how many people looked at it long enough to recognize my oldest. Hadley is embarrassed by the photo, saying things like, "I wish people would just stop talking about it."The little blond boy lives just down the street so our block was a bit over-represented. 

My best friend from high school, Prashant, had an interview in Ann Arbor for a medical fellowship in cardiac electrophysiology (whew what a mouthful) last week. Then he drove up here to pitch his tent for the night (just kidding). I hadn't seen him in over five years. And my first thought was, "Wow, he looks like his brother." We had a good evening catching up. Looking at this picture now, I can't help but thinking that both of us look old (er).

   This is a bug wing I found on a book shelf in the house. No idea where it came from, but isn't it beautiful? Plus, I was playing around with my new camera. 

Kassy went to a rocker girl birthday party this weekend. They did her hair, her nails, and her makeup. She loved it.

For the grandparents: Who are all further away than they wish

I've recently changed one of my email account. From some of my relatives responses, I've gathered that you enjoyed the intimate peaks at family life and miss the more regular posts. Thanks for the encouragement, I needed that.

Kassy's Kindergarten play was Wednesday night. She was a mail carrier in a play about community helpers. I couldn't tell if she liked being in the play or not. She doesn't wear her emotions like another little girl I know. After too many dissappointments or tears she just dissolves into a puddle of helplessness. I hope I can help her to identify and deal with emotions as she grows. Until then, we had a puddle last night. Inexplicably, the life-size community helper (a veterinarian) we made to decorate the auditorium's walls for the play disappeared. No one hung it up and no one can find it now. She thinks she was the only mail carrier who had to tuck in her shirt, which she hates. Other than mom, dad and sister, none of the the other supportive friends or family we have could come to her play. Kaylee was bossing her around. Quinn said he didn't want to be her friend.

She took it all in stride, falling silent, until I asked her to do something that required thinking. Then, in the safety of her home, the idea of carrying her gloves, her apple and her lunchbox into the house, from the car, was too much. And she melted into helpless sobs. It broke my heart even as I tried to hold in my laughs.

Dear sweet Kassy. You did a great job singing. It was a pleasure to watch you. I included two play pictures and links to some videos so scroll all the way down.

There's Kassy in the middle. The grocers are in front of her and the yellow vests of the crossing guards are headless in the very back. Ahhh. Good ol' community helpers.

Singing, "We carry the mail, through wind and run, sleet and hail."

This picture is just for fun. I was experimenting with my new camera. I took it on Monday.
Follow this link to see Kassy at gymnastics.
Follow this link to see Kassy sing in the play.

Something to read

Sorry to disappoint, but no personal news here. As if you need more to do, I am sharing a blog post by someone I don't even know. I love this post. So I will share it with you. It's called, " I Don't Want My Children to be Happy."
http://itsalmostnaptime.blogspot.com/2010/02/i-dont-want-my-children-to-be-happy.html

The Grand Canyon was Created in Less Than Two Weeks and Other Stories From our Recent Life

Tonight, February 12. There is a almost a foot of snow on the ground. Well, not in our yard as almost every spot has been trampled down by two girls who finally love playing in the snow and do so for hours at a time. The low temp is supposed to be 17 degrees. I sat in solitude at 9 pm watching the parade of nations for the Winter Olympics, inwardly hoping those nations that have never won a medal could win and wondering if the sports of luge and bobsledding are really just adrenaline rushes rather than sports. Tom, Hadley, and Kassy were outside. Sort of. They camped out in the tree house. The little house on stilts is so well insulated that the $15 box heater from Aldi's makes it too hot.

A few other updates, for my dear relatives who are starved for glimpses into our lives that they got used to reading over the past two years:

Hadley's second grade play was early this month. Geology Rocks! was full of mountains, ferns, rocks, and volcanos. I marvel at the creativity of the song writers who manage to pack so much educational information into an elementary school musical. Hadley auditioned for and got one of the lead parts, which this year consisted of about 20 lines including whoppers like, "There they are?" and "I don't think they are going to be much help." Still, she was thrilled and kept saying, "I can't believe they choose me." Hadley played a school girl searching for her lost Geology teacher: Professor Rock. He was kidnapped by shady ferns who didn't like him because he was promoting alternative energy sources and the ferns dreamed of becoming fossil fuels. I'm not making any of this up. Hadley did a great job and had a grand time. Grandma Kohnne managed to make it for the play and several of our friends came too, making Hadley feel extra special. Thanks! Kassy's play about community helpers will be on the 24th. She will be a mail person.

Above: Hadley and friend were school girls looking for 
a missing professor.  Below: Another good friend, one of the shady ferns, poses with Kassy

A week before the play Hadley also got photographed with five other kids for promotional material about her school. Look for her on a billboard somewhere around time. The longer I live here, the more convinced I am that Handley has the best education in the area and it's free. They have an open house on March 11. Let me know if you want details or call the school yourself. (Yes, I am blatantly advertising for my children's school on my blog!)

I guess Hadley gets most of the news this month. She just finished making a 3-D replica of a landform as part her geology unit. Well, the assignment actually said the project was PG (Parental guidance suggested). I turned the project over to Tom (his first project manager job ever). So really, the large grand canyon model Hadley made, was the brainchild of Tom. And the work of Tom and .....I was embarrassed to be one of those parents, the kind who help too much. But honestly I think Hadley learned a ton (she had to write a three paragraph report too), I think the teachers expected the excessive help, and
I think the time spent as father and daughter was worth the excessive time (and money!) Tom poured into this project. Check the bottom of this post for step by step pictures.

On a final note, we just got a new computer. It's an Apple (less viruses!) and sadly, a desktop. But I'm so impressed with it I doubt we will ever own a PC again. The actual computer is completely silent and the size of CD case, only 2 inches tall instead. Amazing. Even the packaging the computer arrived in was brilliant with a minimal earth footprint and an absolutely efficient use of space. And cool looking too. I saved enough money from my article writing to buy a new camera, which I don't like and hope to take back and exchange. But I have used the camera, so I might be stuck. Do you have a favorite digital camera?


Grand Canyon creation photos.

Step 1: Create layers of cardboard and drape with chicken wire.

 

Step 2: Use plaster cloth to create canyon.

 Step 3(not pictured): cover with a coat of regular plaster of paris. Step 4: paint and step 5: decorate with trees

Tom is back from China, safe and healthy. School has started again and so has the snow. And the sun decided to come out today after a long absence. Our trip to visit family and Tom's absence exhausted me so I indulged myself last week. I read a work of fiction, Water for Elephants. It was a good story, a completely different world and one I knew nothing about. The 1930 circus trains. While I love a good book, I rarely allow myself to read fiction. It's like a drug. If I find a good story I can't ration my reading time. I carry my book everywhere and when there is five spare minutes, I read for ten. And thus nothing gets done. Nothing. One morning I even crawled back into bed after the girls left for school and read for an hour. Oh my life is luxurious. Thanks for the book, mom.

Catch up

I made peace with  Christmas this year. Or more accurately God restored peace to my heart. While most things about the how our culture celebrates this precious birthday sadden me,  I've found genuiune worship in my heart and on my mind this year. And that's the point right?

What changed? I don't really know. Maybe years of seeking a way to keep my heart pure and praying for my kids to avoid deadly materialism led me to a place of the peace Jesus promises us.  I've found comfort in the traditions I've established with my girls. For the most part our ornaments on the tree are all part of the nativity story. Many starts, hearts and angels (it's VERY difficult to find  nativity ornaments). Each year the girls and I make new star ornaments. And this year I made an advent calendar.  Each day the girls opened a festive carton and pulled out two small chocolates and a riddle. The riddles revealed the day's lessons. We used Lisa Whelchel's ADVENTure of Christmas book for our lessons. We learned the origins of some  Christmas  tradition and if the tradition didn't have especially spiritual roots, Lisa found a way to remind us of the true meaning of the holiday. It was sweet time together. Precious memories.

Prior to the holiday
Let's see the girls had their holiday walkabout at school on the 22nd (yes we were still in school). It was typical. Two or three songs for each grade, parents and grandparents everywhere and not a word about Jesus. Both girls dressed up in their favorite fancy outfit and sang well. We walked around the school and looked at all the art projects and felt glad to have extended family, Cody, with us.

The day before I was driving on the Interstate after scoring $8 PJs with feet at the Carter outlet. I was under an overpass when I saw a movement in the shadows. Before I could avoid it I hit a dog! A lovely old (or so I think) yellow lab. It got up and ran away. Due to traffic I couldn't stop  and all I could do was shed tears. My car suffered less than the dog but I do need to replace my left headlight  now.

Where we are now
We were in Chicago. At Tom's grandma house. We left our home a day early due to impending weather. Eventually there were be 12 of us in thiat tiny home. I practiced letting go of my selfish comforts. Grandma's house was probably once the envy of many with beautiful marbled brown carpet and heavy orange drapery. Once the furniture, all hard wood trimmed, was once comfy and trendy. The heat in this place is a sweltering 78. And with age comes an inability to clean the bathroom well, but I keep reminding myself of what is important. Family, Christ. Meanwhile, my human comforts haunted me. But I rolled up sleeves and cleaned the bathroms. And then I enjoyed Tom's kind family, mediated between the cousins and tried not to dwell on the departure of my husband.

On the 27th (our 12th anniversary) the girls and I headed to Rockford to see my family (stopping first to have breakfast with a dear college friend). And Tom? We dropped him off at the airport, bound for Tokoyo and eventually Changsha, China. For a wedding. I think he might win a prize for greatest distance traveled. Our friend Matt, who lives and works in China found the love of his life. They will marry on the 2nd of Janaury. We wanted to send the whole family, but it just isn't in the budget. A big thanks goes out to Matt's many friends who helped us send Tom as representative of them all. I hope Tom is able to be a blessing to Matt. Matt was our first roommate. He lived with us for a year as he worked to pay off student loans and prepare to teach in China. He shares a birthday with Hadley and I have have fond memories of scrabble games and long conversations with Matt at the kitchen table that saved my sanity during those exhausting early months of motherhood while Tom was working. I know China won't let allow access to blogs, but congratulations Matt. I am so happy for you.

My grandpa from Texas was here for the first two days of our visit with my parents. The girls with their energy, dress up clothes (they got new costumes for Christmas), and general craziness left great grandpa shaking his head more than once. It's nice to be here while Tom is gone, since the routine is different it is easier not to miss him so much.

And if you've read this far, here's a final tidbit, a sort silly triumph, a revenge.  Not a revenge equal to the damage those little pests caused but still, there is some sense of turning lemons into lemonade. My editor sent me a new article to write: "Show Termites the Door” – These little pests can make an all-you-can-eat buffet out of your home’s wood frame. A local extermination specialist gives advice for putting out the unwelcome mat for termites. I tell my girls not to seek revenge, but it can be  sweet.

An Update(finally!)

So silent. Some of you became accustomed to my regular ramblings. You are probably getting tired of checking to see if I updated my blog. Sorry.

For a long while, I prayed that God would help me be more efficient with time, to not be lazy. He answered my prayers. I exercise most weekdays, regularly volunteer at the girl's school and my house is in better order than before. My days disappear quickly before I have time to write. Not having a camera and having a computer that is on the fritz (it took five minutes to load the page where you write new posts!) also make blogging long and tedious.

Sadly, I have no pictures from Thanksgiving. We drove down to Southern Illinois and spent time with Tom's extended family. We celebrated Thanksgiving with two of Tom's uncles and their families (who I have only met once or twice). It was fascinating observing similarities in these family members I've really never spent time with. Tom and his Uncle Matt are definitely cut from the same cloth. And we laughed over how none of Tom's uncles will drink water (juice or milk or pop). They grew up in a very poor home with six kids and because it provided calories they had a milk machine and drank a lot of milk. Whenever my father-in-law comes in town I buy twice the amount of milk as usual.

Instead of shopping on Friday, we drove further down the long state of Illinois to Mt. Vernon. Tom's Grandma, who I am have met exactly twice in fifteen years of knowing him, lives there. She is a character. She likes to take in strays—dogs and people, not cats. The girls delighted in her very tame dogs (including a pit bull named Bill). Hadley enjoyed meeting Tom's cousin's daughter (is that a second cousin?) who is just 20 days older than her and oddly is named Kassidy (yes that's the correct spelling). The girls spent most of the time and writing and playing school. Grandma, who is 83, has a lively and active mind and a pretty nimble body too. She talks endlessly about God and miracles and winning the lottery (which she expects to do soon).

It was odd spending time with people I didn't really know for Thanksgiving, but I am glad we went. I love the understanding it gave me about my husband and his family and the sense of being part of something bigger that it gave my girls.

Kassy did have too much gluten on the trip and came home with painful gas and a runny nose. I want to get her tested for Celiac disease because I need to be much more diligent in limiting her gluten intake and in issues of cross contamination if she does have Celiac. Trouble is, the easy blood tests for Celiac require a person to be eating gluten (for how long I don't know). I need to do some research.

On a separate note, Hadley was doing a school assignment where she had to write two paragraphs. She needed to explain why one comic strip was realistic and why another was fantasy(yes, this is second grade). The fantasy comic was a Calvin and Hobbes where Hobbes is beating up Calvin, but in the opening frame the mother is scowling as she picks up the trail of belongings Calvin dropped when he came home from school. Hadley's first idea about why this strip was a fantasy was that no one mom would just pick up after their kid like that! Lesson learned well!

I have Kassy's school pictures from JCPenny and will post about her soon.

Capturing Hadley

It embarrasses me to realize that it's been a whole year since I sat down and recorded what my dear girl is like. I used to do this exercise every few months. And since my camera now won't take any pictures, I almost put off this post longer. But when we went to JC Penny yesterday for your "school picture" they were having a promotion  where they emailed me all the proofs in low resolution for free. Perfect for blogging. And for the record, Hadley picked the outfit and the hair style. If you  haven't read these portraits in time before, they are always written to the subject. Kassy will come soon.

Yesterday, as I flipped through a catalog I noticed that suddenly all the kids clothing and all the decorations for little girls' bedrooms had models younger than my you. You look like a girl now. There is no preschooler left in you. You are tall and skinny (actually about average height for a second grader). Your hair is still that complement-producing shade of red. And your eyes are hazel.

Sometime last spring you stopped having to wear dresses or skirts everyday. In fact, there have been weeks of all pants. You are suddenly very practical about clothing. It doesn't have to be pink, though it often is. And you wear dresses, not so much for your own pleasure, but to please your sister or your dress-loving friend Alexis. In fact, this fall, the back-to-school outfit you picked out was a pair of khakis and a green shirt with orange flowers! Sometimes you come down the stairs, dressed, and I'll say, "Just so you know, hot pink and orange don't look good together."
"MMMOOOMMM" you reply with disbelief, " God doesn't care if my outfit matches."

After struggling in Kindergarten and first grade with reading, you are now a skilled peruser, eager to learn new things and to find great stories. It gives me so much pleasure to share stories that I have loved with you. You just finished simplified versions of Anne of Green Gables and The Little Princess. Over the summer you were really interested in the Magic Treehouse series. As your reading improves you are becoming more interested in Little House on the Prairie or the American Girl series.

Last November, almost a year ago, you started gymnastics. The sport has captured your heart. Many days your father forbids you from doing any more handstands for the day since fifty or more seems like enough. Sometimes we want to look at you right-side up. You have improved quickly and are very determined to learn each new skill, but we don't have the money or the desire to let you on the team, which is really your dream. It's been breaking my heart to watch you dream of that team and having to say "no." You came out of gymnastics class the other day, frustrated and angry. You started the recreational class able to do back hip circles on the bar and now, since they rarely use the bar, you had forgotten. And it was only at the first class that you got to practice back hand springs, which is a huge goal of yours.

This fall for the first time, you played on a not-so-great soccer team. Your father, the coach, was frustrated but you flourished. For the first time you weren't one of the worst players on the team.  Actually you may have been the best player on the team. While you can still be spacey as a  defensive player, you have excellent ball handling skills and have learned this year to steal the ball and dribble around the defenders with finesse.

You've matured emotionally too. Fights with friends or feelings of exclusion used to make you cry. While those things still bother you, you are able to keep things in perspective a bit. Tears are not as frequent and you seem more confident.

You are still characterized mostly by silly fun. You are a happy kid, quick to make friends, delighted by gifts. You struggle with wanting things and sweets too much, but are slowly becoming more generous. You are a good eater, understanding the value of healthy food. You eat most anything even if you don't like it.  You are affectionate (sometimes too much). You love to learn and to create. You are constantly making connections and asking questions. I was so impressed with your perceptiveness the other day when you said, "Mom, in art class they keep telling how to draw. 'You must have four buildings and trees with two different color leaves.' It looks nice, but it just isn't me."

Currently you are saving your allowance and hoping for an American Girl doll (the one you want changes regularly. You wish Samantha wasn't retired and are now hoping for Felicity).

Most exciting of all though is your faith. It has blossomed. In September you made a decision to accept Christ. I have seen your doubts diminish and your desire to be obedient and kind increase. You are more trustworthy. It our prayer that you will continue to walk down this path.

I love you Hads. Keep growing into a wonderful young lady. 

I'm back: Soccer and Halloween

Silence. I've haven't gone 26 days with a post since I started blogging. Did you miss me?

Sometimes I have adolescent-like fits when I blog. They aren't rational really—I started blogging for me, not because you asked me to. Still, sometimes I resent how much you know about me and my family (unless you are a fellow blogger) and how little you respond to my posts. Like I said, unfair and irrational but reality. Our inner thoughts are never as neat and tidy and selfless as we want them to be and I am bit embarrassed to admit my fit.Add my fit to computer that won't upload every third website and a broken  camera and I wasn't in the mood. Though I have been working on my food blog---check it out if you haven't in a while.

But Halloween came and fall is almost over (so says the weather). There are events to record and my dear friends lent me a camera for the weekend. October was cold. And cloudy. I wonder how long I will need to live in this state before I stop resenting the cloudiness? Darn that lake Huron. It is so close and so amazing, but the only way I remember it exists is from the sea gulls and the fall and winter days of endless gray clouds.

Saturday was the end of a long and tiring soccer season. Tom has classes this semester starting at 8 am and ending at 8 pm on Mondays and Wednesdays. He usually leaves on those days before the girls wake up and comes home just in time to give a goodnight kiss. Then on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays, there was soccer. And usually the season ends mid-October. But this year, it just kept going and going (same number of games but hard-to-schedule coaches). Anyway the last two games , both on Saturday mornings were miserable. Last Saturday was rainy and cold: winter coats, hats, mittens, blankets and an umbrella. This Saturday was warmer but following a day of rain, high winds had moved in. I watched 50% of the last game from the car where my cheers were muted by the windows. (The soccer pics were emailed to me my another mom. Hadley is white with the pink hat with the pom pom on it.)

But the joy of the season was watching Hadley. Suddenly, she got it. Not being on the champion team she shot to the top of the roster and looked like a pro out there. She could dribble in and out of defenders, her kick gained strength and her feet gained speed. She was one of the players the other coaches told their players to watch out for. And still, after three seasons of soccer I was surprised by my heart: its desire to win, the loud yells that emerged and the instinct to injure any player that pushed my little girl.

And Kassy? She's not the fastest on the field but her ball handling skills are impressive. And of the two girls—she definitely loves soccer the most. She would get sad if Hadley has a game or practice and she didn't. My quiet little girl is tough out there on that field. And nothing is more charming than her big grin after a goal (and I don't think we had a game where she didn't make at least one).

And Tom? Well, there isn't a better coach out there.

Really, Hadley is just dreaming of competitive gymnastics. She even draws pictures of it. And prays about being able to compete every night. Sigh. Not letting a kid have everything she wants is not bad. But it sure is hard.

Halloween. Hadley was Word Girl, from the PBS show of the same name. Word Girl is from the planet Lexicon and fights villains partially by distracting them with big words which she then defines. Kassy was a bunny, again. Our friends, who live in the country, came and enjoyed the evening with us. I think we passed out over 600 pieces of candy to at least 400 kids. Kids from all over the city come to our neighborhood to trick or treat. But neighbors are resentful. They don't like all the kids (and adults) that come for the candy without costumes and with made-up stories about a sick brother in the car which is why they have two pillowcases. So participation is way down—only 30% of the houses turn on their lights. Still, they come. I get the neighbor's frustration but I guess I think , “Hey if once a year kids from this crime-ridden city come peacefully into our safe neighborhood, who am I to deny them the fun?”

The pictures below are from the IB parade at school. It is a huge deal and you have to make a sign that identifies your character and the IB trait (IB is the abbreviation for the International Baccalaureate curriculum their school uses. There 8 or 10 traits that constantly emphasizw as they learn about the world. Words like creative, communicator, open-minded, principled, thinker, risk taker, knowledgeable, balanced, reflective ). Hadley's sign read, "Word Girl is a caring thinker." Kassy's sign read, "The Runaway Bunny is a communicator." Sometimes the IB profiles make me laugh, like when we are making these signs for what is really an attempt to add some thinking to Halloween or when Kassy yells at her sister, "You aren't being principled." But I love it. They have such a great school.

The doctor is in or diabetes update

It isn't that anyone has asked. Just that it's been a while and I need some therapy. And sometimes I fail completely in eating well or in checking my blood sugar numbers. The mental game of diabetes is improving, but not won. So here, is a question and answer session for your entertainment and for my accountability.

Q: So, Laura, how's the insulin.

A: I actually like insulin. It far more effective than the meds I was taking and I like being able to increase amounts as I see my numbers going up (like the week before my period). I don't mind the shots and have find traveling not to be difficult.

Q: So Laura, how are your numbers?
A: What numbers? I am terrible at checking my numbers. I tend to check a bunch of times in a week and then skip three weeks. I can easily remember to check first thing in the morning, but the two hours after a meal is rarely remembered.

Q: So Laura, how ARE your  numbers?
A: After three months on insulin my a1c (three month blood sugar average) was 6.8. That 's down almost a whole point from before which means my average has dropped from 190 to about 150. Good. Remember before breakfast should be around 100, and post meals under 140. So I am getting closer to the target. My before meals are great, almost too low, around 80. My after breakfast numbers are good too. I can never remember to check after lunch and the few after dinner readings I have done are too high, close to 180 unless I don't eat many carbs.


Q: Have you made any other changes?
A: Since Kassy started school I've been exercising five days a week for 40 minutes at least. I definitely favor strength and  flexibility work over cardio, so I need to push more at cardio, but this is the longest I've ever had a regular exercise plan (thanks exercise buddies). Also, I asked the doctor to take me off Januvia since it cost so much and she did.Now my monthly out-of-pocket med cost is down from $57 to $17.  That leaves me on Lantus (the insulin) and metformin.


Q: What's next?
I need to do a follow up with the dietitians but first need to check to see if my insurance will pay for more time. If not, that visit will wait until January. I see the doctor in February, but plan to be more disciplined in my number checking because I've told you lovely readers and you will ask me about it, I hope. When I have a better record I hope to fax the numbers to my doctor and ask her what she thinks. Personally, I suspect I need to add a short term insulin (Lantus is kind of like a slow release insulin that you take once a day) to lunch or dinner or maybe change kinds of once-a-day insulin. My numbers are too high after dinner and I am hungry all the time  even after eating my allowed carbs. I am not gaining weight (which I probably should) and suspect I  need to eat more. I wonder though, since my carb allowance is pretty typical for a diabetic, what do the people who are overweight eat? How can they possibly be feeling full?


There. The interview is over. Any more questions?