Long Day

I woke up every half hour last night. Tom was tossing and turning and waking me up so I finally went downstairs. My stomach felt weird. I threw up twice and then had a fever. I missed my Bible study. And I spent most of the day on the couch drifting in and out of sleep, trying to get the doctor's office to advise me on what to do when I couldn't eat and my blood sugars were high (it took three phone calls and a total of eight hours to get an answer). Hadley has a cold. That girl likes to sniff her snot back up her nose rather than blow it. It drives me crazy.

Saturday is supposed to be beautiful. I hope to be better, hope no one else is sick,and hope to finish prepping the soil in my garden. I wish I had a compost bin, but not now so a little manure and some blood meal since I know our soil is low in nitrogen should do the trick. Ohh growing season is getting close! Next week I can plant some of the cold tolerant plants: lettuces, spinach, peas, carrots. I have trays of seedlings growing in the playroom: herbs, peppers, tomatoes, broccolli, and some flowers. I like to lift the clear cover on the tray when the sun has been out for a few hours (which is rare lately). The smell of the warm dirt is delicious. Oh I am ready to get dirty! The last frost date here is unbearably late: May 31.

The Stomach Flu Please!

K padded into my room in the middle of last night. She shook me gently and whispered, "Mommy, I threw up." Wow. H would be screaming and crying. I went into her room to inspect the damage. It was bad. I changed K's nightgown, made her drink some water, checked her hair and sent her into my bed $to sleep until I was done. My stomach was churning and I wanted to cry. I could handle cleaning up the mess, though I don't enjoy it. But last night, for the first time in a year and half we had an egg-bake for dinner--a dairy-free egg bake, but it was still eggs and it was yummy. Everyone ate it. Was K sick or having a reaction to the eggs? The other eggs she had tried went down without a hitch. What to do? What to think?

I hadn't admitted to myself how much hope those eggs held for me. I imagined going out to eat for breakfast and not having to bring food for K. And beyond that, dreams of eating what everyone else eats maybe even, dare I write it, gluten. It's getting harder to stick to the diet. I hold my breath when the soccer girls pass out treats after a game hoping K can consume some part of it. And soon the other preschool kids will bring yummy birthday treats, but K will have her own. Really, it isn't a big deal. My emotions just don't remember that it's only food. A small price to pay for health. But some days it wears me out. Food exhausts me. How many carbs have I consumed and are they complex? Can K eat that? Does this meal fit T's diet? After feeding everyone else, some days I can't think about what I should feed myself so I grab some random snack item with too much sugar and participate in what my grandma calls self sabotage. Introducing eggs and having success brought hope into the food maze of my world.

I took K's temperature this morning--99.1 A sort-of temperature. And this afternoon I felt queasy for a brief time. Maybe this is just a stomach bug. It will take a few more eggs to find out for certain. Today is the first time I have hoped one of my children had the stomach flu!

God did encourage me yesterday about food (maybe in preparation for last night?). I met a woman at a playgroup who is probably a Celiac herself, still undiagnosed, and whose children have dairy and wheat allergies. I was able to sympathize, listen and offer some food suggestions. I do believe God will use the trials in our lives so we can bless and encourage others. And that encourages me.